Shoppers: May I have your attention, please?

Does anyone have any idea where I can get these shoes?

I think they are so cute, but I cannot find anything even close in Chicago, which makes me think one of the following applies:

A) I'm out of style and must take the runway.
B) I'm fashion-forward, and have imagined that these shoes exist somewhere in the future.
C) They were made by Lindsey Lohan's private elves.

Any thoughts would be much appreciated.

I think I have freezerburn.

Someone’s got the goddamn air conditioning blowing up a storm in my office today. Thank God I brought my coat.

What is wrong with these people? I’m wearing a turtleneck sweater and I have my coat all the way zipped up and I'm sitting in a freaking wind tunnel.

Perhaps cryogenic preservation is one of the new perks. What, they couldn't spring for more vacation?