Immobilized by lack of immobilizer

I went to my orthopedic doctor yesterday for a follow-up, and the X-rays looked good, apparently. The major patella fracture is now healed to the point where he thinks I should start working on my "atrophy"--which is a fancy term for fat ass--so, he said I can ditch the immobilizer.

This would be great news...except it's now my friend...Moby. Moby tells people I have an injury and please don't tackle me. He says, open that door for me, carry my bag for me, walk the dogs for me...bring me breakfast in bed.

And, I planned on taking him home with me (you know...just to have him...just in case I need him at some point) but I forgot him when I walked out, and after I remembered and went back to get him (at my now lightning-fast pace of ten yards/hour) someone had taken him away.

It's like I can't function. I feel so naked without him. I'm now exposed to all the rude people on the sidewalk or in train stations who automatically assume you're limping from that drive-by shooting ten years ago, and just knock you right over.

Oh, Moby...what have they done with you?