Car Wars-- The sands of Alternator

Last weekend, as we were coming back from where Brendan had to pick up a race packet for the triathlon he was doing in my hometown, our car started driving funny. It definitely was due for an oil change, but it wasn't shifting right, and it wasn't running smooth, and just when we got to a gas station to pick up beverages, it crapped out and wouldn't restart. I got blamed, as I had left my iPod plugged in overnight. I was having a hard time believing that my teeny iPod drained our car battery in a few short hours. But, Brendan being the electrical engineer, was 100% sure of it.

Luckily we were a few blocks from my parents' so they came and gave us a jump start and we high-fived and went on our way thinking the crisis averted. But, a few blocks past their house the other way, our car died again.

My dad jumped it again, and this time we let the battery refresh for a long enough time to get us the few miles we would need to get to the Sears auto center. On the way, Brendan hits the brakes, and smoke starts pouring out of our back wheels...not joking...so I become completely sure that our car is on fire right below the gas tank, and we are obviously going to explode. We didn't. (It turned out that it was just that the emergency brake got locked onto the wheel because it's seven years old and rusty, and we never use it since we're flatlanders.)

Have I mentioned we're in Michigan, and it's Saturday at like four, so no place is going to have time to fix it? And it's God country, so no one works on Sunday--except Sears. (Not that this reflects on Sears' evilness...but, if the horns fit.) So, they give me the estimate, and tried to charge us $499 for an alternator.

Brendan shrugged and said, "Well, I guess it's that much then." But, see, that was just for the part. That's a total load. I've had to deal with alternator issues before and, while it was more than a few years ago and a different car, it was only $180. But, the problem is...we're desperate. This isn't the time to shop around. None of the car rental places are open. By none, I mean...none of the just one car rental places within a 50 mile radius are open, so we have to get to South Bend (45 minutes away) if we want to rent a car. Which is a pain.

I don't get it. You have to drive to get anywhere around here, so your car breaks down, it's like the world ends, but there's no rental place, and no one to fix it, no taxis, and no public transportation. Can I get a what, what?

What do you do if your parents aren't just down the road? Move into Sears?

So I'm talking to the Sears guy, trying to figure out if he knows he's ripping me off, and he tells me part of the part charge is because they have to have someone drive the part in from Detroit on a Sunday. (For $499, I picture it riding in the back of an air-conditioned stretch limo sipping on a tiny bottle of Cristal.) Anyway, they finally get it, and by the late afternoon they put it in and guess what? It doesn't work! The part is bad. At this point it's five o'clock on a Sunday, and we have to work back in Chicago the next day.

Sucktacular. So we have to take the train home to Chicago...because at this point there's no way they can get another part by the next day.

So here's what happened next:
Sunday, on way to train, 5PM: We order a backup alternator from an autoparts store that says they can get it the next day...AND can deliver it to Sears. For a lot less money. Perfect!
Monday, 1PM: We call to get the part, but the autoparts store doesn't have the part, and wouldn't have the part until Thursday at the earliest because they are big fat liars.
Monday, 2PM: We have Sears order a second alternator, realizing we should have just had them do that anyway on Sunday, but they think they can get Tuesday and put in Wednesday.
Tuesday, 5PM: Part has still not come in and mechanic going home at 5:30.
Wednesday, 1PM: Sears calls to let us know that the new part arrived.
Wednesday, 5PM: Sears calls to let us know that the new part has been put in, but this one doesn't work either. Where are you ordering these parts from? SuperCrappyAlternators.com?
Wednesday, 5PM: Call to check on status of autoparts store alternator. Now they don't think it'll get there until Friday. Well, they are batting a thousand.
Thursday, 11AM: Sears says they won't get the THIRD part until Friday.
Friday, 9AM: Sears thinks they may get part today and if they do (AND IT WORKS???) it'll be ready today.

Sure.

The worst part is, we have had to pay for a rental car now, and that place closes tomorrow at noon, so if it doesn't get fixed, we are completely screwed because guess what? We are in the freaking boondocks.

And, even if we just decided to just say screw it and buy a new car because it's getting to that point in time anyway, we can't even get our car to the dealer to trade it in because our alternator is sitting in a baggie in my mom's back porch. Why, you ask? Because apparently they have something called a Core charge, which is what they charge you if you don't give them your old part. It's totally lame.

I also want to say this. Dear Infiniti, I am also mad at you. I loved this car, and want to buy another one...but you did away with my car, and have created nothing to replace it. And now you just keep building these way-too-expensive boring sedans that all look the same to me. I don't want to drive an old lady grandma sedan. I don't wear skorts and visors and drink tea at the Country Club. At least not yet. Can't you create something in between menopause and puberty, like something styled for starting a family that isn't a huge gas guzzler? Maybe put your thinking caps on. And if you could do a hybrid, that would be great too. Actually, if you could make the FX35 a hybrid and bring the price down, (and get rid of any need for an alternator in the future) I would marry you.